Self-Regulation

Noticing and managing energy, feelings, and sensory needs so a child can take part.

What Self-Regulation Means

Self-regulation is noticing how your body and feelings are doing and finding ways to feel steady enough to take part. Children learn it with help from the adults around them, which is sometimes called co-regulation. It can include taking a break, choosing a tool, moving, or asking for help.

How It Supports Daily Activities

  • Taking a break when sounds, lights, or crowds feel too much.
  • Calming down after a change in plans.
  • Choosing a helpful tool, like headphones or a squeeze toy.

Three Starter Activities

Pick one that fits your child today. Offer choices, adjust as you go, and stop whenever your child wants a break.

Activity 1: Calm Corner Choice Board

Materials

  • A quiet corner or a spot with cushions
  • A few calming choices, such as a squeeze toy, headphones, or a picture book
  • Pictures or labels for each choice

Simple steps

  1. Set up a quiet spot with a few items the child likes.
  2. Make a simple picture board with the choices.
  3. Show the child the board at a calm time.
  4. Let the child try each choice and decide what they like.
  5. Offer the board when the child needs a break, but never require its use.

Easier version

Start with two choices.

Harder version

Add more choices, or let the child make the board.

Activity 2: Bubble Breathing

Materials

  • Bubbles and a wand, or a pinwheel
  • A calm space

Simple steps

  1. Blow a bubble slowly and let the child watch it float.
  2. Invite the child to try blowing a bubble too.
  3. Talk about taking a slow breath in and a slow breath out.
  4. Switch to a pinwheel if the child likes.
  5. Stop when the child is ready.

Easier version

Blow bubbles for the child to pop or watch.

Harder version

Take three slow bubble breaths in a row.

Activity 3: Energy Check-In

Materials

  • A paper thermometer with low, medium, and high energy
  • A clip or magnet
  • A marker

Simple steps

  1. Draw a thermometer with three levels and faces.
  2. Explain that bodies can have low, medium, or high energy.
  3. Invite the child to point to where they are right now.
  4. Offer a few ideas for each level, such as stretching or resting.
  5. Let the child choose, or choose nothing.

Easier version

Use two levels and a few pictures.

Harder version

Add words for feelings, or check in at several times during the day.

Practice Respectfully

  • Offer choices, such as which activity, which materials, or what comes first.
  • Take breaks anytime, and let your child end an activity.
  • Offer only the help your child accepts, and step back if they would rather try alone.
  • Never require eye contact or touch. Sitting beside your child and sharing attention on the same object counts as taking part.
  • Supervise any activity with small parts, and choose materials that suit your child's age.

Observing Participation

A few short notes after each try can show what is working. Keep them factual and kind.

  • Step attempted: Which part of the activity did your child try or complete?
  • Assistance needed: Did they do it on their own, or with a picture, a spoken reminder, a demonstration, or hands-on help they accepted?
  • Child's response: Did they seem curious, comfortable, or in need of a break? What did they choose?

For this skill: Notice what helps the child feel steady and what choices they make when given options.

Example note: "Tried the second step with a picture cue, took a break after two tries, asked to try again later."

Related Skills

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Written by Chinaedu Okwumabua, an occupational therapy assistant with more than 20 years of experience supporting children with autism and developmental delays.

This information is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for an individualized occupational therapy evaluation, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Every child is different, so choose activities that suit your child, and adjust or stop whenever needed.